What is Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction or ‘Out of Control’ sexual behaviour is the persistent pursuit of sexual activity despite the risk and damage it may cause to the addict, their relationships, their work, their finances and even their health.

Tiger Woods, Russell Brand and Charlie Sheen are celebrities who brought sex addiction into the spotlight.

Sexual addiction is a progressive intimacy disorder characterised by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behaviours to achieve the same results.

Most people enjoy sex, feel fulfilled and welcome the chance to engage in the pleasurable activity.

So when does seeking out sex or pornography become an addiction?

It is when the need to satisfy becomes obsessive, that the difficulty arises. Compulsion quickly follows until you are out of control.

Common characteristics experienced by sex addicts:

  • Unsuccessful attempts to stop the behaviours
  • Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the addiction
  • Pursuing the sexual behaviour despite the potential for negative consequences
  • Ignoring work, community, and recreational obligations in the pursuit of sex
  • Decreased sexual interest in your partner
  • HIV & STD transmission

Sex addiction cannot be defined by the amount of sex or pornography use. It is also not about orgasm. It’s about the rituals and search leading to orgasm, such as internet searches, planning, cruising, leading a double life and deceit.

Common feelings of Sex Addicts:

  • Of not feeling good enough
  • Believing you would not be accepted as you are
  • That sex, or sexualised behaviour, is your most important need

Other complex emotions begin to manifest too. These include shame, self-loathing, guilt and anxiety. Whilst every story is different, sometimes the sufferer will not know why they engage in a particular activity; it is a short term route to a vague contentedness that simply goes nowhere.

The preoccupation is really an attempt to anaesthetise an underlying negative state but the obsession profoundly affects personal feelings, stirring up a complexity of emotions and the result is far from fulfilling. Sex addiction is not about sex. Addicts use sex to compensate for something in their lives which is missing. To treat the addiction, they need to identify the triggers and go back to the root cause. Only then can addicts begin the road to recovery.

Whatever your age or background: with correct counselling and support, the addiction can be overcome.

If you recognise any of these feelings or situations above, don’t suffer in silence. Contact me for help in a supportive and understanding environment.

Sex Addiction Behaviour and Activities

Sex Addition can take a number of different forms, and may involve one or more of the following activities:

  • Compulsive Masturbation
  • Sleeping with Strangers
  • Cyber Sex
  • Pornography
  • Multiple affairs outside a committed relationship
  • Visiting Prostitutes
  • Texting Sex Numbers
  • Habitual Exhibitionism
  • Habitual Voyeurism

Sex Addiction is not defined by the sexual activities or the frequency within which it occurs; it is the pre-occupation with sexual activity and compulsive behaviour that defines a sex addict.

Sex Addiction Cycle

Sex Addition, like any other form of addiction has a cycle. It is this cycle that keeps the addict feeling like they have no options and are unable to change their life. You can break this cycle and stop the addiction from controlling you.

I offer a highly qualified confidential counselling service that provides sex addiction therapy to people affected by sex addiction. Sex addiction is treatable and the aim of the therapy is to help the addict learn more healthy ways to manage their lives and develop healthy sexual relationships.

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